It was a cold Sunday morning and the sound of the alarm distrubed Rahul's sleep.. It was thiry minutes past 5 in the morning and he had to force himself to get up giving up his heart's desire for those extra long 5 minutes of sleep.. Yet his face was full of enthusiasm and was basking in glory because today was the day he and Neha had planned to go to an hill station for her birthday.. They had planned to start their trip at 8 a.m in the morning.. He was so excited about the trip that he got ready by 7 a.m.. He had dressed himself up in his favourite denim jeans with a pleasing green coloured shirt..
He was 30 minutes prior schedule and was supposed to pick up Neha at 7.45 a.m in her apartment and start their holiday. Neha was a beautiful lady, a dream girl for any guy.. Her auburn coloured hair, naughty eyes and ever smiling face was a pleasure for anyone to see. She was understanding,caring, ambitious and a child at heart.. Rahul had always felt lucky to have Neha with him and they had planned to get married within a year's time.. This was the second birthday of Neha they were celebrating together and Rahul wanted to give her a surprise.. He had planned this holiday more than a month before and had done so much research, even more than what he did for his project, selecting the resort and the place..
The resort was located atop the hill surrounded by a calm, serene atmosphere.. The villa he had booked was constructed completely full of woods and glasses.. The villa was surrounded by thick, dense forests and the sound of trickling water from the near-by stream gave the extra rejuvenation suitable for a perfect holiday.. The aroma of spices and vegetation from the dense forests as the zephyr blows would make anyone forget oneself. It was the perfect place anyone could imagine of and Rahul was lucky enough to spend the holiday with his only love at this place..
He called Neha around 7.15 and she was equally as thrilled as Rahul was, which he could feel easily from her voice. Rahul said "Happy birthday dear, I can't wait no more to see you !! I am gonna start right away.. Love you sweetheart !!"... Rahul's voice was full of excitement when he uttered those words.. It was about 7.35 when Rahul reached Neha's apartment in his new car and gave her a call to let her know that he had reached the apartment..With the pleasant chill climate and the morning breeze blowing gently,this day was the most perfect day anyone could have wished for.. Amidst this gentle wind, Rahul caught the sight of Neha walking towards the car from her apartment.. She was looking totally angelic with her lavender coloured t-shirt and a black jeans.. The gentle wind caused her soft hair to sway which made her look even more beautiful..
Within a few moments, she reached the car and the emotions between them reached greater heights.. It was this moment that both of them had been waiting for !!.. Neha's cute smile made him go crazy and with the josh, Rahul started his car.. Rahul was new to driving on highway, but that did not bother him much..He turned on the music player and both were happily enjoying the ride along the highway..It was about 30 minutes since they started their journey and things had gone as planned..
All of a sudden, a loud beaming sound "BEEP BEEP BEEP !!!!"... The sound was increasing in intensity and Rahul was disturbed by this sound.. It was Rahul's mobile phone alarm.. He was full asleep and with his eyes half open, he realised all of it was a dream.. It was Neha's birthday and the holiday was supposedly planned for today, but she was not with him anymore.. Neha was killed in a terrible accident last week.. Rahul was still not able to overcome her absence, the entire world seemed to be devoid of matter.. He had nothing much to do other than to accept the reality and cope up.. The sound of the alarm and the dream he had, haunted him for quite sometime.. With tears trickling down his cheeks, he painfully uttered the three words "I Miss You !!!" ....
P.S :- I wanted to try my skills in writing a story.. I had dreamt of it for a quite a long time and thought I could end up writing one day.. I hope everyone reading this liked it.. Your comments are welcome !!!
13 "2 Cents":
for a 1st story, it cud hav avoided death...
and, the msg u want to portray is not clear...either i did not understand or u did not intend a specific msg..
overall, very good try for a short story.. env. expl. is good.. could improve on flow of events...
@ sundeep :- thanks for the comments.. the theme I wanted to convey was 'missing' is the biggest pain of all!!!...
will try to improve in the areas u told in the days to come ;)
Dai, Baadu.... Ithu unakku vandha dream thane??? Antha ponnu Neha yaaru da??? Ur dream gal ah??
@ sabari :- why should such a dream come to me !!!.. this story was purely fictional boss.. I wanted to write a story emphasising 'missing' !!! ;)
In one sentence , "It is heart-rending" !
Try writing comedy dude. Too much of emotions in your blog. Its just my POV. EMO stuff really sucks. Your style of writing is good. Just change the topic. Missing, love et al is nonsense boss.
Rahul, Neha, Love, Death etc sounds like a Karan Johar movie..
@ vineeth :- masala flick maybe ;) :O
@ vineeth :- yeah yeah.. will soon change it.. have loads in mind.. jus waiting for the tiny spark ;).. will be bang on soon !!! :)
the emphasis of "missing" on reader is only for the last line.. after going thro' different emotions for most of the story, the last line had less effect.. and hence missed the "missing" msg...
its a wonderful writing sats......
i understood the feel "missing" in it completely..
Its like without missing a person , u cant hav a thought abt tat person in ur dream...
Always u hav a dream wen u miss some one badly, or if u r in any sort of emotional feeling which has affected u or which might affect u in future(sometimes)
Very good one to start with pa :) great job keep going... I liked the flow very much... good work
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