Caffeinated Thoughts...

It was a beautiful evening during Fall, in the distant woods, my eyes caught sight of her pretty face.. With a light smile on my lips, I stood there listening to her speak, though I knew most of them were lies !!.. Those moments were the sweet moments of my life.. I find a strong attractive force pulling me towards her !!.. In those four days I spent with her, she changed me totally....

Hold on, wait !!!.. Neither was I trying to narrate my personal love experience nor write down a short story.. For those (people who love hearing tamil songs) who aren't familiar with the above lines, give it another quick read and then proceed ahead with the rest of the post..

Recently, I ended up asking myself a question 'Have I enjoyed every moment in my life, be it good or bad ?!'... Well, its practically not possible to enjoy every moment in life.. So I rephrased the question 'Which one was I good at !?.. Enjoying the best moments or Worrrying for the bad moments' ... Well, still the answer is not that straight-forward.. But am sure, I (or rather 'WE') haven't enjoyed some of the best moments in my life..

Lost in related thoughts, the first moment that strikes me dates back to somewhere in1993.. When I was about 5 years old, I slipped and fell into a pond in a temple.. Without a knowledge about swimming, I drowned in the water.. All the people above at the bank could see was few centimetres of my collar and two or three strands of my hair.. Luckily I was pulled out by a person whose name was also 'Sathappan' (same as mine !! ;) )... If not for that person nor the visibility of the few centimetres of my collar, I would not have been here now enjoying the world and boring (hopefully not) you people reading this blog :) !!..

The other moment that strikes me dates back to somewhere in 2001.. It was the engagement of one of my cousins to be held in Madurai.. I was already there in Madurai and my parents were travelling by car to Madurai.. My dad was kinda new to driving on the highway.. Unfortunately they met with an accident.. The car in which they were travelling collided with a truck and the scenes were pretty bad.. But luckily, both my mom and dad were unhurt in the accident.. It was one of the best moments which just passed on like a normal event.. Probably I was 12 years old by then and now I couldnt imagine where I would have been if something else had happened that day.. Similarly, in 2006, my dad met with another accident in which the car he was travelling, rolled atleast 2 times and landed upside down due to a burst tyre..He was unhurt in this accident too.. There goes another best moment.. These are just some of the best moments in my life which just passed on without much of excitement..

Well, the idea for this post came after I heard a sentence from a tamil movie called 'Tamil M.A' which goes like this "வாழ்க்கையின் சில சுவையான தருணங்கள், ரசிக்க படாமலே போய்விடுகின்றன".. The english translation of this sentence is "There are certain sweet moments in life, which go totally unnoticed"..

As an ending note, I am sure, if you could spend sometime after reading this post thinking about similiar unnoticed moments, you would have had a handful of them.. If one accquires the ability to enjoy such moments, life would be much sweeter than what it is now !!!.. :) .. Ciao !!!..

It would be comical to deny that I don't like appreciation or rewards, because no one works without an exceptation for appreciation.. But I fell into some form of deep thoughts, thinking what exactly do you term as an 'apt' reward.. Is it monetary benefits, material benefits, trophies, certificates, applause, etc. etc. ?!..

I have read somewhere which says trophies gather dust over the years.. Applause dies down as time passes.. Material benefits undergo depreciation as time goes along.. Monetary benefits help for a very short period of time as they get spent.. A perfect and even the most prestigious award which I feel the best would be being called as ' A Gentleman' ...

Be it sports, be it business, be it education, be it arts, be it in any form or profession, character is what the most important asset of a human.. Ability to win people's heart without breaking one, without back-biting, without speaking according to situations and winning accolades is obviously the ideal one who deserves such an reward.. More than a well known person calling you 'Gentleman', if a person less known to you (say a third person) calls you so, its even more meaningful !!!... Such an reward gives some meaning to your life rather than all the material benefits possessed...

It all started on November 29th, 2008 at around 9 a.m when I stepped out of my house with tons of dreams and confidence to achieve something in life without a single clue of what was in store for me for the upcoming six months.. We (a group of 3 friends) caught a flight and landed in Bangalore in the afternoon.. Being a weekend, we didn't have much of work to do and we decided to shop everything we needed to setup a home (toiletries,beds n other stuff).. The first time I ever did something on my own.. It was a nice experience :) ..

December started off with a huge thrill with me entering the corporate world for the first time with bit of nervousness and with booming confidence to achieve something.. The first two days went up with an orientation programme wherein we were told about all the usual facts and stuff about the company policies and regulations.. It was actually a group of 50 people who had joined Intel at the same time as me as interns.. Initially, I was put down on getting to know the work that I was supposed to do for the next 6 months.. The work assigned to me demanded more of my physical contribution than the mental contribution...

As days passed by, I found myself basked in a deep sense of loneliness...The persistent feeling of loneliness creeping up within me, the disappointment in the work I had to do, the disappointment that I wasn't enjoying the final days of my college as my friends did back home, the puzzling and mysterious conflicts between me and my dearest friend on this planet; went hand in hand with each other serving me with a perfect nightmare I had to live up with for the five whole months!!!.. Now, I feel that I have pushed the wrong buttons, I had failed to stand up for myself at situations where I should have been fighting..

Nevertheless, I am happy that these days dint leave a brutal mark over me but taught me 'what life is ?!..' and 'who people are ?!..'... I learnt bad times are surely a scale of measuring the benevolence of the people whom you call as friends... I learnt that a relationship is always to be evenly matched, you seem to be a Stupid if you continue to do things when you are perfectly taken in as a duck on the other side.. The biggest of all, I was able to assess the character of the people around me and pick out people whom I can confide and trust in..

Now, I am counting the last days of internship here at Intel... By the 20th of May, I will have to bid adieu to this part of my life which taught more lessons (to be taken as the lessons of Life rather than the technical stuff) than ever and also the part of my life which witnessed the loss of my dearest friend on earth!!!... I can never really get back these days and perfectly there's no use of fretting about it now... It taught me 'Happiness is a voyage; not a destination'.... I am sure I am seeing Life with a much better clarity than I used to before I came for my Internship...

Its high time for me to gear up, throwing away all those negative energy and forces around me!!!.. To rise from the deep and conquer my dreams... I am happy to say "I am back !!!"......

Often people end up in misunderstandings due to unnecessary exchange of words.. Words spelt can never be taken back and it hurts more than a sharp edged knife!!!... I was a victim to such an incident few months ago and felt very bad about it being on the recieving side.. I was literally inconsolable..

Few months back, I happened to get too philosophical and asked my friend 'Is there anything in this world without an expiry date ?!'.. His reply was quite weird.. But even now I am not able to deny the answer that he gave..

His reply goes like this, 'Anything in this world which has a beginning, will have an end for sure.. If there's no ending, then for sure it din't start at all !!!'... The example he quoted for supporting his reply was even more astounding.. Numbers do not have a beginning (starting from -infinity, an unquantifiable value), so they don't have an ending at all (ending up to +infinity)... Sounds crazy, but kinda true !!!...

Recently, I felt this thing and it was kind of disturbing me a lot.. My new finding is " ow-a-days truthfulness of a fact is measured more by the number of people speaking about the fact rather than the actual veracity of the fact"..

My say..."When four people say a lie to a person, it becomes a truth.. But when one person fights for a truth with four people, it becomes a lie"....This is something similar to Einstein's story of relativity :)... Its really a crazy world out there !!!!!